I've approached this year's resolutions with a considerable amount of thought and encouragement from last year's resolutions successes. I've added one: the other 4 are continuations and tweaks.
1: Continued daily time with God: Focus on Prayer
I have revised the prayer focus list I created in 2012 to help remind me of who I have committed to pray for. I was excited to see answers to prayer I have already seen from my previous list. Why the focus on prayer? I have not been nearly as intentional or disciplined with prayer as I would like to be. So, just as I focused on Scripture reading last year, I will make prayer more of a focus this year. Not entirely sure how I can have a tangible goal like reading through the Bible in a year: I will try praying 5 days a week for at least 10 minutes and expand as I go.
2: Lose Weight: Goal of 20 more lbs.
True, I have only lost 15lbs this past year but, I hope to stay on track. I have already gotten back into a workout routine and now have a more active lifestyle. I have started this year at 191, size 14 pants. Excited for what progress I can continue to make towards being healthy. Of course this will be much easier one the last of the Christmas goodies are out of my house.
3: Pay off another $10,550 in debt. Pay cash for a car
The end result I would like to see of this goal is to surpass this! If we can stay on track this year, doing better than last year, I know we can.
We will need to purchase a new vehicle for me this year. There are some problems with my current mode of transportation. And also, I would appreciate having a 4 door car, and air conditioning this summer in case we can meet out debt goals. Because then it means we are on our way, God willing, to little ones.
4: Have my novel manuscript publication ready
I want to write more. I already write every day with journaling, etc. But, that is not helping me finish my novel. So, I have made myself a goal of writing 2 pages in 5 days. If I exceed...even better!
I also intend to blog every month, like I managed to last year.
I am proficient at excuses: and I have finally realized my "reasons" and only excuses bred from fear.
5: Utilize better organization so I can wisely manage my time more wisely
I have already begun practical steps to this: two weeks before the new year (thanks in part to Pinterest.) I created a monthly meal planning list, made a master inventory list that will make grocery shopping infinitely easier, grocery shopped for the month, budgeted (haven't done that since August...ugh!) and made up a list of weekly and monthly household chores. Overall, a bit of time here and there to save time and money in the end.
I already feel considerably less stressed. Horray!
So, I know there are several friends of mine who refuse to do resolutions: for those of you who do, what are your resolutions or goalsthis year?
Showing posts with label devotional. Show all posts
Showing posts with label devotional. Show all posts
Friday, January 3, 2014
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Reflections That Happened To Occur On Ash Wednesday
First off, I want to celebrate that I have lost 6 pounds! It's slow progress but, it's progress nonetheless. I am setting my alarm earlier and earlier and am attempting to get to bed at a reasonable hour. As I am adding new activities to my morning routine, I am still struggling to manage my time better. Last week was a week of running late no matter what I did. I am trying this week to be more mindful of my time and to stop assuming everything will take longer than I think as I plan for things to go wrong and leave myself time for that. Maybe it's a little pathetic that I'm still learning this. You would think with how much I hate being late, that I would work hard to avoid that possibility. Maybe someday...but, then...
"The more you talk about what is right, even talk about doing it, the more danger you are in of turning it into unpracticed theory. Talk without actions saps the very will...We do not understand the next page of God's lesson book: we see only the one before us...when we understand the one before us, only then are we able to turn to the next...the poorest desire to draw near him is an approach to him."- George MacDonald.
My times with God every morning has brought me a mixture of joy and pain. So much of my heart has been exposed under God's light during these intimate moments: I am becoming well aware of my imperfections and areas of sin in my life. It's been challenging and I really hope others can see results as I continue to surrender to Him. At first, I was limiting myself to Monday through Friday, giving myself Saturdays off and deciding corporate worship on Sundays was good enough. After four weeks, I developed an intense hunger for more time with God, so am now daily starting every day with Jesus. I have been spending time in prayer, reading "Knowing the Heart of God" by George MacDonald (a section of which I quoted above), reading through Psalms and Isaiah and a lot of the Epistles. Consequently, I have been called out on my pride, disobedience, possessions holding me, and the reasons why I have doubted and not trusted God. But, there has also been some encouragement as I finally see lessons that He has been trying to teach me over the past ten years or so. I actually thanked God this morning that He has been convicting me so strongly: it's been so long since I have allowed myself to feel His corrections and prompting.
I do not say these things to boast, or be like, "Oh, look at me I'm holy!" I say these things to be like... "Wow! God is meeting me right where I am, speaking to be so intimately and personally, I was such an idiot to have run from these moments for the past ten years."
The scariest knowledge of all is... I knew time with God would be this sweet. I knew how it felt to pursue the presence of God: I had done it before since I was a child up until I was about twenty years old. Oh, but then, I stumbled: then I wallowed in my sin, convincing myself that I could possibly find happiness apart from God. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. One of the darkest lies I believed was that by basking in God's presence I would lose touch with reality and could never relate to people in, you know, the "real" world. Oh the travesty. In my deluded mind, I saw only three options to being a Christian: extreme fanaticism, apathy, or atheism.
I knew entirely too much of God to be an atheist. I had been a "victim" of the extreme fanaticism: I lived with ans witness daily the ill effects of others becoming obsessed with what they believed about God and being bound by the letter of the Law (doing everything exactly right) and not the heart of the Law and knowing and becoming like Christ Himself (which is in fact what Christian means: little Christ). In light of these decisions, wallowing in self pity and laziness, I settled for mediocre apathy. Being passionate follower of Jesus takes hard work. And I was tired. Tired of pretending I was ok, not depressed and suicidal. I pushed away the very people and One Who loved me most. If I didn't do too much, still attempted to do and say Christian-ish things then God wouldn't abandon me, I could be a good person, and be happy, right?
Wrong.
I have been bouncing between desperation, numbness and misery for the past ten years: ok, more like for six years. Because four years ago, February 17, 2009, (I cannot believe it has already been four years!) I was radically delivered *another story for another time* and pledged my entire being to Jesus once more. So, these past four years have been a journey of constant surrender, fighting myself, fighting God and destroying my self-image, pride, hatred and fears. Also, let us not forget the joys, breakthroughs, and awesome stuff you know, like meeting and marrying my awesome hubby.
Anyway! Through all this rambling, I hope sharing some snippets of my journey is helping someone besides myself. I am just excited to find myself "back where I began" and yet a thousand miles away from where I fell. I had despaired that I hadn't made any progress on my way through the long wilderness: But, Jesus keeps showing me how far I have come.
With that, I will leave you all with this reminder to myself:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brother and Sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have take hold of it. But on this I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14
"The more you talk about what is right, even talk about doing it, the more danger you are in of turning it into unpracticed theory. Talk without actions saps the very will...We do not understand the next page of God's lesson book: we see only the one before us...when we understand the one before us, only then are we able to turn to the next...the poorest desire to draw near him is an approach to him."- George MacDonald.
My times with God every morning has brought me a mixture of joy and pain. So much of my heart has been exposed under God's light during these intimate moments: I am becoming well aware of my imperfections and areas of sin in my life. It's been challenging and I really hope others can see results as I continue to surrender to Him. At first, I was limiting myself to Monday through Friday, giving myself Saturdays off and deciding corporate worship on Sundays was good enough. After four weeks, I developed an intense hunger for more time with God, so am now daily starting every day with Jesus. I have been spending time in prayer, reading "Knowing the Heart of God" by George MacDonald (a section of which I quoted above), reading through Psalms and Isaiah and a lot of the Epistles. Consequently, I have been called out on my pride, disobedience, possessions holding me, and the reasons why I have doubted and not trusted God. But, there has also been some encouragement as I finally see lessons that He has been trying to teach me over the past ten years or so. I actually thanked God this morning that He has been convicting me so strongly: it's been so long since I have allowed myself to feel His corrections and prompting.
I do not say these things to boast, or be like, "Oh, look at me I'm holy!" I say these things to be like... "Wow! God is meeting me right where I am, speaking to be so intimately and personally, I was such an idiot to have run from these moments for the past ten years."
The scariest knowledge of all is... I knew time with God would be this sweet. I knew how it felt to pursue the presence of God: I had done it before since I was a child up until I was about twenty years old. Oh, but then, I stumbled: then I wallowed in my sin, convincing myself that I could possibly find happiness apart from God. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. One of the darkest lies I believed was that by basking in God's presence I would lose touch with reality and could never relate to people in, you know, the "real" world. Oh the travesty. In my deluded mind, I saw only three options to being a Christian: extreme fanaticism, apathy, or atheism.
I knew entirely too much of God to be an atheist. I had been a "victim" of the extreme fanaticism: I lived with ans witness daily the ill effects of others becoming obsessed with what they believed about God and being bound by the letter of the Law (doing everything exactly right) and not the heart of the Law and knowing and becoming like Christ Himself (which is in fact what Christian means: little Christ). In light of these decisions, wallowing in self pity and laziness, I settled for mediocre apathy. Being passionate follower of Jesus takes hard work. And I was tired. Tired of pretending I was ok, not depressed and suicidal. I pushed away the very people and One Who loved me most. If I didn't do too much, still attempted to do and say Christian-ish things then God wouldn't abandon me, I could be a good person, and be happy, right?
Wrong.
I have been bouncing between desperation, numbness and misery for the past ten years: ok, more like for six years. Because four years ago, February 17, 2009, (I cannot believe it has already been four years!) I was radically delivered *another story for another time* and pledged my entire being to Jesus once more. So, these past four years have been a journey of constant surrender, fighting myself, fighting God and destroying my self-image, pride, hatred and fears. Also, let us not forget the joys, breakthroughs, and awesome stuff you know, like meeting and marrying my awesome hubby.
Anyway! Through all this rambling, I hope sharing some snippets of my journey is helping someone besides myself. I am just excited to find myself "back where I began" and yet a thousand miles away from where I fell. I had despaired that I hadn't made any progress on my way through the long wilderness: But, Jesus keeps showing me how far I have come.
With that, I will leave you all with this reminder to myself:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brother and Sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have take hold of it. But on this I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14
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