I made an interesting discovery on my birthday: all thanks to my husband and one of my best friends scheming to throw me a spectacular 30th birthday party.
Clay plotted and tried his best to keep secret that he was throwing me a 90's themed party for my birthday. I admitted to him on my birthday, (this past Sunday, the 15th) that I suspected and my suspicions of the theme were confirmed earlier that week. (BTW...if you create a Spotify playlist and your account is linked to Facebook it will not remain a secret for long) I told him "As long as it's better than my 90's actually were, then we're set." My 90's were second to worst time in my life. First probably being '07-Feb'09. I digress... I was nervous as all get out. Every time I had heard about the 90's, someone was commenting how backwards my adolescence was. No one could believe how little I knew, how few movies I watched. So, in college, with the help of some friends, I aggressively tried to catch up on my "lost" experiences: only to feel I constantly came up short.
The majority of my 90's was spent steeped in depression, guilt, shame, accompanied by the overwhelming self-centered egotistical self depreciation I think most adolescents encounter. I thought I was the most hideous, dorky, gross, unlovely person ever. Additionally, my home life was riddled with drama and trauma. My mother prohibited us from being part of "the world" outside of church events. She relaxed considerably when I was out of middle school: In the meantime we would sneak and watch TV when she was at work, or we were at friend's houses.
On my birthday, I discovered that I was cooler, by the standards of the 90's than I thought. I was taken out to Goodwill to pick out an outfit and I have an "in" style and didn't even know it. Ha! I even broke out my butterfly clips I just could not stand to part with.
I felt like a kid again, but not with all the emotional instability of puberty. It was good. It was nice to not be called names and discover similarities in others, and connect with friends. For the longest time, I've heard many people bemoan my shelteredness.
So, I discovered a lot of 90's fun in the 2000's... a little behind, but pshhh... It's more fun to have friends introduce you to their life. For
the first time in a long time, I didn't feel at a disadvantage: as if
my upbringing made me inferior.
I'm 30. And I feel like an adult. I finally cherish my upbringing. Hmmm.
When is a time that you, pleasantly, discovered you were not as _________ (fill in the blank) as you thought?
I don't really have an incident coming to mind that would address your question. I would like to point out, though, that your experience of the 90s was just as valid as other peoples'. Your cultural setting was simply different than that of most of the people you've met. You know what the 90s trends were in Christian-themed music, movies, and books, homeschooling materials and activities, church functions, and other areas you probably aren't aware of.
ReplyDeleteMost certainly. I still have to remind myself of that. Not always sure how to tell those who becry my shelteredness that, though. I guess just say it! The fear of rejection runs deep and I try to move past it every day. Some days are harder than others.
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