One-These lessons are based on my own experiences and interpretations of those events. It is not necessarily fact, although many have been confirmed and shared by my siblings.
Two-I am striving to look at the positive along with the negative. Also, I welcome comments and questions!
Welcome to: Lessons Life Has Taught Me
Lesson# 1: When You Are One Of Many, You Are Easily Forgotten
Negative
I am the youngest of 5 children. My
very first memory is of being left in the car in our driveway. I was
alone. Staring at my little white shoes. You know, the white kinds more
like boots that little ones wear when they are learning to walk? I had
fallen asleep in the car after a shopping trip. Mom had unloaded everyone
else and the groceries and went about her day. She happened to look out
the window and saw me in the car, crying. I was forgotten other times: in stores, as a Children's Museum, in card. To this day, I still fight the urge to make everything between me and my siblings
a comparison or competition to please some ambiguous entity. To be special and unique somehow. Otherwise I will be forgotten.It still surprises me when someone remembers my name. Or someone I don't know well invites me to hang out, or wants to invest in my life just because I am me. It is often hard to believe that I am anyone special. So, I shrink into the backdrop as much as possible. I believe it is much easier to not offer than risk being forgotten or rejected.
Positive
When you're one of many, you realize you're part of a bigger picture. You are part of a community. There is always someone better than you, or worse off than you. Although I am an introvert, I do blend well in a community. My tendency is to let others lead, be a support because, after all, I shrink into the backdrop as much as possible and serve others. I will not pretend or imply that I am perfect. Above I talked about my tendency and fighting the desire to be recognized and to stand out. I do want to be important, I want to be somebody. So, my challenge is to recognize that, yes, I am a member of a community, as a human, as a daughter and sister, as a believer in Christ. And as a member of each community, I do have something to offer. So, I need to work on not hiding, and keep offering: I will only be forgotten if I hide.
"I will only be forgotten if I hide." I like that!
ReplyDeleteI struggled for a long time with letting go of what I thought made me unique, the various labels or interests that I let define me, instead of letting Christ define me. It's okay to have interests and to know things about yourself. But too often I let labels like, "I'm quiet and deep" keep me from freely living and just be-ing. Now I try to just define myself as a child of God and try to follow Christ. All the aspects of my personality are then free to breathe and happen without threatening my self-identity.
Thanks so much... For commenting, encouraging, and helping me gain a more clear perspective.
DeleteI had such a hard time writing this particular post. I knew with this post would set the tone for the rest of this series and, I had a hard time finding a positive, honestly. I'm a natural pessimist so, this has been even more of a challenge.
I also find I let labels keep me from "just be-ing."